“If only I had longer legs to do the jumps, I would have made the cheer team.”
“If only the coach could see how hard I tried, he would have picked me.”
“If only John gave me that promotion, I could have taken the cruise.”
How many of us have had similar laments, “If only?” I must admit I have had my share.
The phrase “if only” indicates a mindset focused on regrets and disappointments. Like Will in the Butterfly Circus, we may have hoped for a different result or an alternative reality from what actually happened. Like Will, we may dwell on the past and what could have been instead of focusing on the present and what we can do.
We may be bitter, blaming fate for unfairly treating us. We may become prisoners of our past and our circumstances. We may wallow in self-pity, leading to deeper disappointment and dissatisfaction.
The members of the Butterfly Circus welcomed Will and fully accepted him. They had many things in common. Like Will, they had experienced heartaches, received mistreatment, and felt lost at one time; yet they were all given another chance. On the other hand, unlike Will, they did not let the past shackle them but rose above the situation and fully lived in the present. They grabbed their second chance in life and made the most of it. In light of this, they saw beyond Will’s limitations and challenged him to recognize his worth and potential. However, despite their kindness and acceptance, Will struggled with self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. He could not see past his limitations and disability. Will had a hard time accepting himself.
The good news is that the story did not end here. Will’s transformative journey continued…
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In nature, a butterfly undergoes metamorphosis, a gradual process of transforming from egg to caterpillar to chrysalis to butterfly. In the film, Will goes through a similar process, changing from a fearful and insecure individual to a brave and confident person.
A caterpillar crawls on the ground with slow movement and limited mobility. It cannot see far and wide—its vision is confined to what is right in front of it. It could be easy prey to many predators around. One could imagine a caterpillar living in fear, constantly watching for potential danger. Likewise, Will begins as a person subject to bias, ridicule, and violence because of his physical limitations. In the past, people took advantage of Will’s disability to make money. He has become bitter and distrustful of others.
When a caterpillar enters pupation, it forms a hard outer shell called a chrysalis to protect itself. Inside the chrysalis, the caterpillar undergoes metamorphosis. It experiences a fascinating transformation from a fuzzy, crawling caterpillar into a beautiful, flying butterfly. The chrysalis gives protection, stability, and time needed for a caterpillar to mature into a butterfly.
The Butterfly Circus to Will is like the chrysalis to a caterpillar. When Will joined the Butterfly Circus, he entered a place he had never known before – a place where individual differences are celebrated rather than judged, disabilities are accepted rather than shunned, and personal worth is affirmed rather than denied. Through this community, Will received the love, support, and encouragement needed to overcome his fear, self-doubt, and insecurity. His new-found family empowered him to break free from his old mindset and see himself as he truly is: an individual with inherent worth and unique gifts.
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The members of the Butterfly Circus did not pity Will or give up on him. They continued to love him and encourage him. Mr. Mendez, especially, challenged Will to reframe his struggles as an opportunity for greatness. He challenged Will to confront his self-concept and start embracing himself.
Gradually, Will began to open himself to his circus community. Instead of staying on the sideline as a passive observer, he became an active participant. Instead of looking at others’ performance with amazement, he amazed others by discovering his swimming ability (despite being limbless). Instead of letting his disability define his worth, he came to recognize and accept his worth endowed by God.
The loving and supportive community of the Butterfly Circus played a pivotal role in Will’s transformative journey. They gave Will space to think, change, and discover his self-worth. They included him and treated him as a full member of the group. They saw him as equal and valued his presence. Bit by bit, their love and acceptance melted Will’s cold heart, chipped away his resistance, and tore down the lies he had believed in.
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How can we, the Church of Christ, the family of God, be that support for the disability community?
How can we provide that space for people with disabilities to discover their unique gifts and become full members of the Church body?